Put A Sloth On It!

By Matt Baker

I feel that our website content has been too good recently, with riveting and clever blogs.  So to remedy this I want to talk about sloths.  Sloths are adorable.  I think they might be my favourite animal.  I remember this one time I was at the Guadalajara zoo and I spent much too long watching the sloth sleep, waiting for it to do something... anything.  Eventually I was rewarded by it scratching its balls.  And at that very moment I decided that sloths really are the most awesome animals.  Any animal that can hang from a branch for 20 minutes and do nothing but relieve some itchy nuts (it didn’t even have to move its arm, it was just resting its claws in its crotch!) is my kind of animal.

Did you know sloths move so little that algae actually grows in their fur giving them camouflage?  Awesome!

Not only that, but they are totally carefree and happy all the time.  I mean, look at the contentment on these faces.

Imagine living your entire life as one big lazy weekend and nobody giving you crap for it because it was what you evolved to do!  Any time someone asks about religion or politics or some such crap you can just be like “dude, I’m a sloth, it’s all cool”.

And sloths totally have that cool self-confidence thing going.  They’re not all in your face like a lion “Ooh, look at me, King of the Jungle, hear my ferocious roar!”  They know they’re awesome and they know that you know, so they can just be, you know?

In conclusion, I think we can all learn a little something from the sloth.  The internets may love cats, but let’s all make a little room in our hearts for the sloth.